You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell

I had a very strange phone conversation tonight. As per usual when the phone rang it was to ask for a delivery of Chinese food. (This, incidentally, is because BT asked me when I was getting the line put in whether I would like the number the previous owners had had or a "new" number although there was no mention of the parenthesis during the conversation. Seeing as the previous owners had a religious bereavement counselling service, I opted for the "new" one. (I knew if anyone phoned looking for aforementioned counselling I'd feel duty bound!) I now know that "new" does not necessarily mean "new" and I have the number of the recently closed down Chinese takeaway.)

So it's not new, it's just not currently in use. Incorrect use of the English language really drives me mad and I am now getting even madder remembering how much I hate to hear people talk about things being "semi permanent". I mean, either it's permanent or it's NOT surely! Anyway, I digress, as they say.

So this guy phones tonight and I tell him "no sorry, they closed down and BT very kindly gave me their number all to myself". So he laughs and says "that's so funny"! Is it indeed? He repeats himself, laughs again and I start to think he's waiting for a witty response. I can't be bothered and I'm not feeling witty but being the helpful sort, I suggest he tries The Famous Wok on Duke Street.

"Really?" he laughs again. "Do you know the number?". Bit cheeky but I tell him that sadly I use it far too frequently and the number is imprinted on my brain which he also finds tres drole it seems.

"Hang on" he says "can I just go and get a pen and paper?". Sure, sure, I'll just hang around waiting, I mean I've nothing better to do of a Friday evening. (I didn't actually have anything better to do but that's besides the point.)

"OK are you ready? It's 556 2229 and I can recommend the mushroom chow mein" I tell him even though I've never tried it. I'm just trying to be nice and the result is that the guy's laughing even louder now and telling me "this is the funniest phone call"! "Isn't this the funniest phone call EVER?". For HIM maybe! I thought I was never gonna get him off the phone. Still, my usual late night callers (!) ask for chicken curry or whatever, I tell them I can't cook and they hang up! They don't even apologise, they just hang up! At least laughing boy was polite if a little too keen to be friends! One of these days I will get time to phone BT and get my number changed. It really is most annoying but thank you for allowing me to let off steam!