Saturday, 26 March 2011

Indygal LEAVES Holyrood - dignified to the end

Of course I wasn't! As most folk know Parliament dissolved on Tuesday at midnight and us former MSPs had till midnight this Sunday to pack everything and clear out our offices. Obviously those of us standing hope to be returning but there are no guarantees and them's the rules. So tonight I went through to finish up in the office and I knew this would possibly be my last time in parliament. I got everything done and at 8pm one of the parly staff put his head round the door to let me know that Earth Hour was starting at 8.30pm and all the lights were going out. "No problem" says I, "I'm just about done and I'll be out of here by quarter past". I felt quite calm, all my boxes were packed, the dusting was done and I was ready to say goodbye to my wee office and the lovely building I've had the privilege to work in for many years. I put the boxes on the trolley, switched off the light and headed to the lift doing my usual ie fiddling about looking for my car key. Only this time I couldn't find it. So I went back to the office and emptied my pockets and my handbag. Not there. Time was running out. I had 9 minutes to get out of the building before all the bloomin lights went out. I decided I could faff about in the office, go and find a security guard to save me from the inevitable mad axemen that always come out in the dark, or I could go to the carpark and look at my car in the complete darkness. Given that mad axemen tend to lurk in underground carparks I went for the middle option. So there I was at the security desk, emptying my handbag (again), emptying my pockets (again) and making the two guards promise not to leave me when the lights went out. Like I say, dignified! One of them asked could I have left the key in the car. Daft idea, as if I'd do that but to make him feel better I let him accompany me downstairs to check. And sure enough ... Four mins left to get back up to the security desk, grab my stuff, race back down to the carpark, get all the boxes and lock myself in the car before the lights went out and the axemen appeared. I nearly skidded across the floor in my haste when someone shouts "aye, we're not doing Earth Hour anymore, too many feart folk working in the building tonight". You know that way when you've started to run, then someone makes you stop and you twist bits of you you were never aware of before? Still, I mustered up the modicum of decorum I had left, shoulders back, head held high and limped out of parliament, trailing my trolley behind me. Like I said, dignified to the end ...

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