Crows are no longer my favourite birds

I used to love crows because I thought they were very entertaining birds and because they always remind me of Keith Richards. I've gone off them now after being stalked by one. I say "stalked" only because my friend Anne reckons to say I was "attacked" would be a bit of an exaggeration. I disagree but you know me, anything to keep the peace :-)

So, we have waited 15 months to taste an egg roti - the most delicious snack thing I have ever tasted. And yesterday we got our chance. We were in Main Street in Galle and popped into a shop to buy a takeaway egg roti to share. With each other. Not with the local bloody crows. Anne managed to eat hers fine but I got one bite and this thing starts pecking at my skirt. Then when I shoo it away it jumps up on a stationary truck and swoops at me.

"Beat it" I'm shouting as I flap my arms at it much to the amusement of a street full of Sri Lankans who stop but don't help. It becomes clear that it's my egg roti it's after. I try reasoning with the Rolling Stone lookalike but either it doesn't speak English or it's just plain rude and it's still coming at me. So I do what any normal person who a) wants to eat HER egg roti and b) wants to teach the crow a lesson - I stuff the whole lot in my mouth! For some reason Anne finds this most amusing and starts talking about chipmunks but you know, it was that or give into threats of violence - and how's the crow ever going to learn right from wrong if you do that? Hmmmm.